Eight and a half toes with a side of darkness

How did you spend the holidays? I was in the hospital this week. Fighting another bone infection and having another toe amputated. This time my right great toe to the first distal joint. That's how I spent Christmas. Third surgery this year. Twelfth arthritis-related surgery on this body. Back home now, recovering. 

This year I had an asshole from high school who has an absolutely meaningless life, a life that has served nothing but money, threaten my career. He also threatened me with physical violence. 

That person was upset that I reposted the exact words of a media personality. More importantly, this douchenozzle with which I had no direct contact was informed of my horrible infraction by someone else. Likely someone that I had a level of contact with and shared a level of respect with (that hasn't had the decency to come forward themselves since).

Additionally, I have had to sever ties to some family members.

Why tell you all of this? 

People, I have seen the ugliest year. I have absolutely seen a level of darkness and willful ignorance this year that puts a stain on all of us. And not saying something is complicity. Sure, many of you are quietly disgusted. Most of you wouldn't proudly post a photo of yourself at the home and/ or business of an accused child rapist. I certainly was disgusted when years ago my parents neighbor was arrested for possession of child porn.  I didn't go and take happy photos of myself at his home.

And yet, I have family members that are still supporters of this lunacy. I have former friends that call themselves religious but cannot rise to a level of honesty and awareness their faith purports to espouse. They somehow still support this president and the party that enables him.

People are suffering physically in ways that any decent human would call obscene. And yet so many of you continue to paint the poor, the sick, the exploited, and the victims as the evil in this world and anyone that might shine a light on the suffering are liars. 

I had a student this year that is a widow. I suppose that is not the legal term for what she is. She lost her fiancee to suicide. They have a little girl. She is going back to school because she knows working as a phlebotomist is not going to be enough to give her and her daughter a decent life. 

She told me in great detail how difficult dealing with the VA is. How she has to fight to prove to our system of veteran support that her daughter (not even she as the committed partner of the veteran) is entitled to survivor benefits.

She described to me how her fiancee tried to get help from our Department of Veteran Affairs for his PTSD. He walked a tightrope between getting help and remaining "battle ready" to remain on the DoD health plan until he fell. There was no safety net. He died. 

This is literally stuff I worked on with the VA, DoD, and the US Army 15-20 years ago.

Maybe 5 years ago, I was on the phone with and in contact with a college fraternity brother hours, maybe minutes, before he took his own life.  He, too, served our country with honor. He was in pain and became addicted to pain medication. I've been there. I know what it was like to have chronic pain in the age of Oxy. Corporate America got him addicted to their product. The Sacklers settled with people like us in a class-action lawsuit for their negligence. I've never seen a dime. He didn't either. His addiction caused damage to his liver. He needed a liver transplant. He was disqualified by the VA because the cause of his liver damage could not be proven to be the result of his service. He couldn't work. He couldn't afford to purchase health insurance because of his preexisting condition. And why should he have to? He was supposed to have health coverage through the VA. He killed himself, and it was all I could do to prevent him from harming others in his final act.

And I still see many of you post about how our country is broken, yet throwing your confidence behind the most corrupt piece of shit to ever walk the earth. It's not even a secret. You know, if you have an IQ above imbecile, you know that President Donald J. Trump is the embodiment of modern robber baron corruption and moral decay. And now there is evidence. The truth is coming out. But you're still playing golf at his country club. Police chiefs proudly profess their continued support of Trump. What the absolute fuck is wrong with you? 

Now the President is using the military to throw distractions out there, calling the proof of his long-time, close relationship with sex predator Jeffrey #Epstein a "witch hunt". His TV talking head Secretary of War and he are lobbing missiles around like candy canes on Christmas in the name of religion. 

I am begging you, as someone that has seen how the sausage is made, to open your eyes and wake the fuck up. Your lust for money is not a reasonable excuse for your position. You cannot take your money with you when you die. Hoarding money while people suffer is incredibly disgusting. Supporting corruption because somehow you make just a little more money while it is happening is a character flaw, not the positive personality trait you think it is. When this era ends and when you are dead, your legacy will die with you. 

I am not opposed to working hard and earning an honest, even ample, living. If you are out there making a good life, I applaud you. But we live in a society. You could not reap the financial rewards you have without that society. And a great deal of your brothers and sisters in this society are hurting. Really hurting; to ignore that is reprehensible. 

So, how did I spend this holiday season? Literally giving my pound of flesh on Christmas day.

Photos to come.